Fresh off the buzz of the momentous #countryblogretreatNI I am feeling resolved to jump into this blogging lark with both feet and stop being, well, frankly, a big scaredy cat!
I have faffed about for many a month, reading the blogs of the likes of blossomingbirds and littlewoodlife wanting so much to answer the yearn in my heart to write but just not knowing where to start .And then I realised.. I may, just maybe, be overthinking the thing entirely. Hmm yes, a habit of a life time I really need to break.
In my younger years, pre kids, I spent time working as a reporter for some local papers and I can honestly say it was the happiest time of my life. Meeting the people hearing the story and then painstakingly retelling it in print, feeling the weight of the words and hoping to capture the heart of it, in those limited spaces.
In the subsequent years with the fuzz of mortgage and motherhood, I had to let the job go for something that put money in the bank and food on the table, with the regularity that freelance work unfortunately could not guarantee
And yesterday, as I sat in the middle of the beautiful Larchfield estate , in the meeting of these wonderful people and in the hearing of their stories, I was transported back to that time.
I realised that I hadn’t just let go of a passion back then, but of a level of confidence too. Not consciously by any means , but rather something that maybe was chipped away at during the days of maternity leave, sleepless nights, boking babies and the constant internal voice that questioned ‘I am doing this right?’ ‘I am good enough?’
Mel Wiggins is right in what she said; “Creativity as an adult takes courage” so so much courage. Looking around that room at all those insanely talented, beautiful ladies, it struck me, that no matter the label on our clothes, the height of our heel or the number of insta followers we procure, we are all often in the same wee boat, reaching out for a hand to hold or a nod of encouragement to just do the damn thing that we want to do, without apology. Anna from @blossomingbirds is done with apologising and if it’s good enough for her, then its good enough for me!
So here we go, fill your page with those flowers, pose your heart out for that photo, give zero shits and do it with a spring in your step and a smile on your face.
.And so the adventure begins…